Xpansion Code Radio

Leadership with William Attaway

Episode Summary

An interview with William Attaway about leadership and his book Catalytic Leadership.

Episode Notes

About William

Many leaders feel in over their head in their role or in their organization. Is there a roadmap anywhere to help you grow as a leader? How can I avoid the ditches that other leaders have fallen into? In his new book, Dr. William Attaway gleans from his own personal leadership experience as well as the experience of hundreds of leaders he has coached, and he shares 12 key principles that can help leaders grow and add value to those they lead today, no matter where they are.

https://catalyticleadership.net/

https://www.facebook.com/williamattaway

https://www.linkedin.com/in/williamattaway/

https://www.instagram.com/wattaway/

I am inviting you to check out my resources page. It is completely FREE and has a ton information and some downloads. You can find it at resources.xpansioncode.com.

I have a YouTube channel that has snippets from my podcast. Check it out! https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCcVYzjRI9v-BCnSeB_mw-jA

I will be releasing new episodes every Tuesday and Thursday!

Episode Transcription

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[john_nichols]: what's up everyone welcome to today's podcast

my name is john nichols and this is

 

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[john_nichols]: expansion code radio today i have a

guest his name is william at a way

 

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[john_nichols]: and he is going to talk to

us a little

 

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[william_attaway]: yeah

 

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[john_nichols]: bit today about leadership william welcome to

the podcast

 

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[william_attaway]: john thanks so much for having me

on today it's an honor to be here

 

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[john_nichols]: it's honor to have you man so

give me a little bit tell me little

 

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[john_nichols]: bit about yourself well you man about

how you got into leadership and all that

 

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[john_nichols]: good fun stuff

 

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[william_attaway]: sure so i'm husband to

 

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[john_nichols]: oh

 

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[william_attaway]: my wife charlotte we've

 

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[john_nichols]: yeah

 

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[william_attaway]: been married for almost twenty five years

will celebrate that later this year we

 

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[john_nichols]: okay

 

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[william_attaway]: have two daughters

 

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[john_nichols]: m

 

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[william_attaway]: one of whom is heading to college

next week and i

 

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[john_nichols]: m

 

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[william_attaway]: found that really hard to

 

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[john_nichols]: okay

 

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[william_attaway]: believe my younger one is

 

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[john_nichols]: yeah

 

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[william_attaway]: going to be a sophomore in high

school this year and i have been a

 

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[william_attaway]: leader

 

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[john_nichols]: oh

 

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[william_attaway]: and a student of leadership for over

three decades attended my first leadership conference when

 

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[william_attaway]: i was fifteen years old and been

a leader in the business sector and for

 

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[william_attaway]: the last

 

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[john_nichols]: ah

 

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[william_attaway]: twenty five plus years in the local

church and the non profit sector and so

 

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[william_attaway]: what i do now is coach leaders

 

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[john_nichols]: m

 

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[william_attaway]: i help them choose to intentionally

 

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[john_nichols]: m

 

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[william_attaway]: grow thrive and get past what's holding

them back from what they know is possible

 

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[william_attaway]: but they can't seem to get there

 

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[john_nichols]: so what is your favorite thing about

leadership

 

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[william_attaway]: you know i think leadership is such

a very very large bucket

 

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[john_nichols]: ah

 

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[william_attaway]: and there's so many different facets

 

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[john_nichols]: m

 

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[william_attaway]: of it that you cannot be a

student of leadership

 

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[john_nichols]: oh

 

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[william_attaway]: and ever be bored

 

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[john_nichols]: oh

 

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[william_attaway]: because there's too many assets of it

there's too many areas that you can explore

 

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[john_nichols]: oh

 

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[william_attaway]: and really dig into

 

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[john_nichols]: m

 

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[william_attaway]: that's one of the things i love

about it that there's so many different places

 

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[william_attaway]: so many different types of adership that

i can just continually explore and expand and

 

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[william_attaway]: never reach the end

 

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[john_nichols]: yeah you know as we were talking

earlier and it's pretty interesting that we're both

 

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[john_nichols]: john maxwell certified business coaches um in

the leadership around and i've been doing i

 

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[john_nichols]: don't know leadership with my with my

up store manager is probably for the past

 

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[john_nichols]: since two thousand fourteen and it's just

amazing how when you pour into people and

 

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[john_nichols]: you help develop leadership um

 

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[william_attaway]: yeah

 

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[john_nichols]: how much they will buy into

 

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[william_attaway]: my

 

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[john_nichols]: their own jobs when they when they're

 

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[william_attaway]: so

 

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[john_nichols]: able

 

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[william_attaway]: true

 

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[john_nichols]: to

 

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[william_attaway]: yeah

 

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[john_nichols]: yoahwhenthey're able to take on their own

identity you know it's kind of funny i

 

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[john_nichols]: ask all my managers you know basically

who owns that store that they're managing and

 

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[john_nichols]: they all say i do

 

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[william_attaway]: yeah

 

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[john_nichols]: because

 

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[william_attaway]: yeah

 

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[john_nichols]: even though i may be the owner

they're the ones they're running that store day

 

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[john_nichols]: in and day out and they have

to have owners ship of what they do

 

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[john_nichols]: and so

 

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[william_attaway]: that's right

 

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[john_nichols]: i just think it's just a huge

huge piece for us to pour back into

 

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[john_nichols]: our into people and show them leadership

it's funny is that this this past spring

 

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[john_nichols]: my my daughter school called me in

 

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[william_attaway]: m

 

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[john_nichols]: and they have an eighth grade leadership

class and they

 

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[william_attaway]: m

 

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[john_nichols]: are all the time trying

 

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[william_attaway]: m

 

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[john_nichols]: to get speakers to come in and

i came in and i spoke

 

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[william_attaway]: oh

 

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[john_nichols]: and spoke there

 

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[william_attaway]: yeah oh

 

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[john_nichols]: and i don't think i did just

asked the class a bunch of questions about

 

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[william_attaway]: yeah

 

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[john_nichols]: leadership i mean i had a ton

of questions and one of my favorite questions

 

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[john_nichols]: i asked him was re re re

leaders born or are they made

 

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[william_attaway]: yeah

 

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[john_nichols]: and i love that question and i

had some people say that well there's born

 

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[john_nichols]: leadership and i had other people say

no well leaders are made and i just

 

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[john_nichols]: said well you're they enter is both

there

 

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[william_attaway]: a

 

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[john_nichols]: they're made and they're born that way

to some of them are i said so

 

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[john_nichols]: there's no rome cancer here and it

was

 

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[william_attaway]: that's

 

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[john_nichols]: it

 

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[william_attaway]: right

 

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[john_nichols]: was just interesting

 

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[william_attaway]: oh

 

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[john_nichols]: to see these eight great kids you

know they are fourteen years old pouring into

 

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[john_nichols]: stuff you know that are thirteen or

fourteen that are just soaking up leadership and

 

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[john_nichols]: i just i just really you know

it warms my heart to see kids embrace

 

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[john_nichols]: in leadership in this day and age

because there's so much junk out there in

 

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[john_nichols]: this world

 

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[william_attaway]: it's true

 

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[john_nichols]: yeah and so

 

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[william_attaway]: and leadership is what makes it different

 

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[john_nichols]: yeah

 

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[william_attaway]: that's how these kids can take and

 

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[john_nichols]: m

 

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[william_attaway]: and do

 

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[john_nichols]: m

 

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[william_attaway]: better than what they have seen and

do better than what they have experienced

 

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[john_nichols]: oh

 

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[william_attaway]: they can lead into what

 

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[john_nichols]: m

 

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[william_attaway]: could be and what should be

 

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[john_nichols]: okay and and that is that is

as one her percent true the thing that

 

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[john_nichols]: that i learned about teaching on this

class is that how engaged they weren't hungry

 

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[william_attaway]: oh

 

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[john_nichols]: to hear more about leadership and where

leadership applies you know

 

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[william_attaway]: yeah

 

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[john_nichols]: and i was talkin about that that

you know leadership is as we're being students

 

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[john_nichols]: to john maxwell maxwell says that leadership

is is nothing more than influence

 

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[william_attaway]: yeah

 

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[john_nichols]: and if if if you believe that

that piece of what leadership truly is is

 

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[john_nichols]: just nothing more than influence the end

we lead and are being led all the

 

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[john_nichols]: time without us even knowing it is

it's such a really cool kind of you

 

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[john_nichols]: know i don't know thought process you

know to really think about it if you

 

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[john_nichols]: really think about it just influence so

 

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[william_attaway]: true

 

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[john_nichols]: i heard through a little bird that

have a book out called catalytic leadership can

 

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[john_nichols]: you tel me a little bit about

that

 

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[william_attaway]: sure

 

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[john_nichols]: yeah

 

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[william_attaway]: pubabished earlier this year in january and

the point of the book was really to

 

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[william_attaway]: capture

 

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[john_nichols]: m

 

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[william_attaway]: a lot of the things that i've

 

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[john_nichols]: oh

 

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[william_attaway]: learned coaching leaders for the

 

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[john_nichols]: yeah

 

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[william_attaway]: last twenty plus years you know coaches

as in the business space

 

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[john_nichols]: yeah

 

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[william_attaway]: in the church space in the government

space military educational leaders

 

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[john_nichols]: m

 

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[william_attaway]: so many different

 

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[john_nichols]: oh

 

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[william_attaway]: areas and what i found is that

there are their key principles that transcend context

 

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[william_attaway]: doesn't matter where you lead these principles

apply and so what i've tried to do

 

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[william_attaway]: is capture in the book twelve of

those key principles that will help a leader

 

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[william_attaway]: move from just leading at at an

ordinary level to be in catalytic oh

 

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[john_nichols]: i love that that is so cool

so within side your leadership training talk to

 

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[john_nichols]: me a little bit about know a

leadership plan and and how you go about

 

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[john_nichols]: teaching that and getting someone because because

because you've clearly been doing this for a

 

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[john_nichols]: very long time so the thing is

that you have to have a system on

 

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[john_nichols]: which you're on which you've developed yourself

that you're going in

 

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[william_attaway]: m m

 

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[john_nichols]: and actually helping people out so talk

to me a little bit about that

 

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[william_attaway]: sure

 

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[john_nichols]: m

 

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[william_attaway]: i think it begins with understanding

 

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[john_nichols]: m

 

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[william_attaway]: if a leader is teachable

 

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[john_nichols]: m

 

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[william_attaway]: the one non

 

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[john_nichols]: oh

 

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[william_attaway]: negotiable that i talk about

 

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[john_nichols]: m

 

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[william_attaway]: for truly catalytic leadership

 

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[john_nichols]: oh

 

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[william_attaway]: is a teachable spirit and that's

 

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[john_nichols]: m

 

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[william_attaway]: something you either have or you don't

 

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[john_nichols]: m

 

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[william_attaway]: we've all seen people who have that

level of humility

 

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[john_nichols]: ah

 

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[william_attaway]: that they're continually in a learning posture

where they want to learn from any situation

 

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[william_attaway]: they want to learn from any i

firmly believe you can learn from anybody

 

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[john_nichols]: oh

 

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[william_attaway]: sometimes you learn what not to do

that can be incredibly valuable having and maintaining

 

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[william_attaway]: keeping that teachable pirit that learning posture

is critical in every part of your life

 

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[william_attaway]: and so this is the first thing

that i look for this is the first

 

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[william_attaway]: thing i talk about with new coaching

clients or with leaders that i'm pouring into

 

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[william_attaway]: and developing this is the one non

negotiable i can teach you a lot

 

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[john_nichols]: oh

 

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[william_attaway]: of other things but i can't teach

you how to have

 

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[john_nichols]: yeah

 

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[william_attaway]: that spirit you choose that every single

 

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[john_nichols]: yeah

 

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[william_attaway]: day when you stop choosing that

 

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[john_nichols]: m

 

199

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[william_attaway]: what i've seen happen time and time

again is that you begin to

 

200

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[john_nichols]: m

 

201

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[william_attaway]: drift you begin to drift not towards

excellence you drift towards mediocrity and mediocrity inspires

 

202

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[william_attaway]: nobody and so this is why

 

203

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[john_nichols]: yeah

 

204

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[william_attaway]: i talk about this so much because

i think that teachable spirit is critical that's

 

205

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[william_attaway]: the that's the first thing the most

important thing that i talk about as i'm

 

206

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[william_attaway]: starting with a new leader that i'm

coaching or with a group that i'm pouring

 

207

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[william_attaway]: into and investing in the next element

the next step in that is figuring out

 

208

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[john_nichols]: yeah

 

209

00:08:21,926 --> 00:08:24,972

[william_attaway]: how you are wired discovering your wiring

 

210

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[john_nichols]: m

 

211

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[william_attaway]: every one of us

 

212

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[john_nichols]: m

 

213

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[william_attaway]: is created and gifted specifically in certain

ways you have gifts you have talents you

 

214

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[william_attaway]: have skills things that you've learned how

to do over time you have a personality

 

215

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[william_attaway]: of a temperament and all that together

makes up your wiring most people don't understand

 

216

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[william_attaway]: how they're wired they don't understand how

they are put together and so what that

 

217

00:08:47,028 --> 00:08:51,295

[william_attaway]: means is that they're just trying to

copy or be like some body ells what

 

218

00:08:51,336 --> 00:08:51,476

[william_attaway]: that

 

219

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[john_nichols]: m

 

220

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[william_attaway]: that's where we all start we all

start as leaders trying to be like leaders

 

221

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[william_attaway]: that we admire or respect but if

you stay there that's where the problem is

 

222

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[william_attaway]: because ultimately all you are is a

bad copy of a great leader you got

 

223

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[william_attaway]: to discover how you are wired and

lean into that so discovering your wiring is

 

224

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[william_attaway]: the next step and say hey how

do how do i do what does it

 

225

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[william_attaway]: look like for me to lead at

a level of excellence based on who i

 

226

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[william_attaway]: am based on the skills the talents

the passions the personality the temperament that i

 

227

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[william_attaway]: have so that's where i go next

with people that i'm developing or coaching oh

 

228

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[john_nichols]: so let's go back into that into

the wiring piece again so and so are

 

229

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[john_nichols]: you running some sort of personality test

or what exactly how are you determining what

 

230

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[john_nichols]: kind of wiring people have because because

because i love the concept to

 

231

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[william_attaway]: there's so many great assessment tools you

know most people have heard of the mars

 

232

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[john_nichols]: oh

 

233

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[william_attaway]: briggs is probably the most famous

 

234

00:09:49,890 --> 00:09:50,239

[john_nichols]: my

 

235

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[william_attaway]: ones i typically will tend to gravitate

toward is the maxwell disk as maxwell coach

 

236

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[william_attaway]: that's one that i've seen benefit from

personally and that i've seen

 

237

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[john_nichols]: oh

 

238

00:09:59,980 --> 00:10:03,506

[william_attaway]: with so many of those that i've

coached that helps us to understand

 

239

00:10:03,090 --> 00:10:03,474

[john_nichols]: oh

 

240

00:10:03,586 --> 00:10:08,514

[william_attaway]: a lot around who you are who

you perceive yourself to be and how other

 

241

00:10:08,594 --> 00:10:13,783

[william_attaway]: people perceive you to be that's a

helpful tool another assessment that's a newer tool

 

242

00:10:13,983 --> 00:10:14,865

[william_attaway]: but one that i've been

 

243

00:10:14,709 --> 00:10:14,730

[john_nichols]: m

 

244

00:10:14,925 --> 00:10:15,506

[william_attaway]: using a lot

 

245

00:10:15,540 --> 00:10:16,920

[john_nichols]: yeah

 

246

00:10:15,586 --> 00:10:17,830

[william_attaway]: lately is patrick lencioni's

 

247

00:10:17,880 --> 00:10:18,102

[john_nichols]: oh

 

248

00:10:17,930 --> 00:10:22,237

[william_attaway]: working genius profile this basically in a

nutshell that we

 

249

00:10:22,293 --> 00:10:22,417

[john_nichols]: kay

 

250

00:10:22,357 --> 00:10:28,948

[william_attaway]: all have two areas of working genius

we all have two areas of working competency

 

251

00:10:29,629 --> 00:10:34,958

[william_attaway]: and we all have two areas of

working station the goal is to make sure

 

252

00:10:35,018 --> 00:10:39,626

[william_attaway]: you're operating as much as you can

in your areas of working genius so when

 

253

00:10:39,666 --> 00:10:44,053

[william_attaway]: i'm working with people on my team

that i'm developing i know how they're i

 

254

00:10:44,133 --> 00:10:48,340

[william_attaway]: know that because they matter they're not

just a cog in the machine they're an

 

255

00:10:48,401 --> 00:10:51,866

[william_attaway]: actual person i want to develop them

and help them achieve what it is that's

 

256

00:10:51,926 --> 00:10:55,572

[william_attaway]: in their heart and mind to achieve

but it starts with understanding how they're wired

 

257

00:10:56,134 --> 00:10:59,681

[william_attaway]: and i want to make sure they're

operating as much as possible in their areas

 

258

00:10:59,640 --> 00:10:59,901

[john_nichols]: yeah

 

259

00:10:59,842 --> 00:11:04,431

[william_attaway]: of working genius not just competency and

certainly not frustration

 

260

00:11:05,821 --> 00:11:12,088

[john_nichols]: okay i mean that is that is

such a huge thing my wife is certified

 

261

00:11:12,168 --> 00:11:16,816

[john_nichols]: in dis but she's didn't through dr

robert rome the personality

 

262

00:11:16,545 --> 00:11:16,565

[william_attaway]: m

 

263

00:11:16,936 --> 00:11:17,898

[john_nichols]: inside i don't know if you've

 

264

00:11:17,862 --> 00:11:17,883

[william_attaway]: m

 

265

00:11:17,978 --> 00:11:18,319

[john_nichols]: ever heard

 

266

00:11:18,273 --> 00:11:18,474

[william_attaway]: sure

 

267

00:11:18,379 --> 00:11:18,439

[john_nichols]: of

 

268

00:11:19,358 --> 00:11:19,800

[william_attaway]: absolutely

 

269

00:11:19,561 --> 00:11:24,148

[john_nichols]: dr rome and in fact dr room

is actually a really good friend of ours

 

270

00:11:24,930 --> 00:11:26,332

[john_nichols]: um it's kind of

 

271

00:11:26,313 --> 00:11:26,476

[william_attaway]: that's

 

272

00:11:26,392 --> 00:11:26,913

[john_nichols]: interesting

 

273

00:11:26,517 --> 00:11:26,782

[william_attaway]: awesome

 

274

00:11:27,033 --> 00:11:33,384

[john_nichols]: but yeah i mean but i love

me ome dr robert rome excuse me m

 

275

00:11:33,824 --> 00:11:38,132

[john_nichols]: so the thing is is that have

you ever heard of the five languages of

 

276

00:11:38,672 --> 00:11:42,900

[john_nichols]: the five languages of appreciation at work

i'm sure i'm sure you've heard the five

 

277

00:11:43,040 --> 00:11:43,783

[john_nichols]: love languages

 

278

00:11:44,393 --> 00:11:44,594

[william_attaway]: sure

 

279

00:11:44,405 --> 00:11:47,376

[john_nichols]: but the five languages of appreciation at

work have you ever heard of that

 

280

00:11:47,974 --> 00:11:48,865

[william_attaway]: i have heard of that yeah

 

281

00:11:50,531 --> 00:11:54,137

[john_nichols]: and i'll just tell you right now

it's got on the podcast the other day

 

282

00:11:54,277 --> 00:11:55,339

[john_nichols]: and we got to talking

 

283

00:11:55,143 --> 00:11:56,030

[william_attaway]: my

 

284

00:11:55,399 --> 00:12:00,387

[john_nichols]: about this and you know it s

part of leadership you also have have

 

285

00:12:00,303 --> 00:12:01,533

[william_attaway]: yeah

 

286

00:12:00,447 --> 00:12:02,871

[john_nichols]: to learn how to how people

 

287

00:12:02,703 --> 00:12:02,967

[william_attaway]: yah

 

288

00:12:02,971 --> 00:12:03,972

[john_nichols]: need to be appreciated

 

289

00:12:03,882 --> 00:12:03,903

[william_attaway]: h

 

290

00:12:04,052 --> 00:12:05,393

[john_nichols]: how they want to be appreciated

 

291

00:12:04,823 --> 00:12:04,968

[william_attaway]: yeah

 

292

00:12:05,894 --> 00:12:15,428

[john_nichols]: and it was very interesting and in

saying this i've got a manager that she

 

293

00:12:15,548 --> 00:12:18,194

[john_nichols]: loves words of affirmation so she

 

294

00:12:18,274 --> 00:12:18,436

[william_attaway]: yeah

 

295

00:12:18,375 --> 00:12:24,194

[john_nichols]: she wants words of information but she

wants it done privately she doesn't want

 

296

00:12:24,252 --> 00:12:24,273

[william_attaway]: m

 

297

00:12:24,274 --> 00:12:25,496

[john_nichols]: it done publicly

 

298

00:12:26,223 --> 00:12:26,625

[william_attaway]: interesting

 

299

00:12:26,878 --> 00:12:30,544

[john_nichols]: and and because she gets very embarrassed

about certain things

 

300

00:12:31,293 --> 00:12:31,455

[william_attaway]: yeah

 

301

00:12:32,070 --> 00:12:36,176

[john_nichols]: and i remember the first time we

were doing a call with all of our

 

302

00:12:36,237 --> 00:12:40,303

[john_nichols]: managers together it was a zoom calling

and i and i made a shout out

 

303

00:12:40,343 --> 00:12:43,108

[john_nichols]: to her i said you know hey

kathy you're doing such a great job you're

 

304

00:12:43,128 --> 00:12:48,056

[john_nichols]: doing on this other fence tuff and

her face just turned beat red and she

 

305

00:12:48,096 --> 00:12:51,682

[john_nichols]: didn't say anything and she was just

like thank you and that was it and

 

306

00:12:51,762 --> 00:12:51,843

[john_nichols]: so

 

307

00:12:51,903 --> 00:12:51,923

[william_attaway]: m

 

308

00:12:51,983 --> 00:12:56,570

[john_nichols]: after we got the phone she calls

me immediately and she goes to john i

 

309

00:12:56,671 --> 00:13:01,198

[john_nichols]: really do appreciate you you doing that

but could you just not do it in

 

310

00:13:01,218 --> 00:13:05,485

[john_nichols]: front of all the other managers are

in front of people because even though i

 

311

00:13:05,666 --> 00:13:09,696

[john_nichols]: like what you said i just would

you i would rather you just call me

 

312

00:13:09,756 --> 00:13:10,177

[john_nichols]: and tell me

 

313

00:13:10,943 --> 00:13:11,066

[william_attaway]: wow

 

314

00:13:11,731 --> 00:13:16,278

[john_nichols]: and and i found that to be

such a huge piece for her

 

315

00:13:16,293 --> 00:13:16,313

[william_attaway]: m

 

316

00:13:17,280 --> 00:13:18,803

[john_nichols]: so within your leadership

 

317

00:13:18,852 --> 00:13:18,873

[william_attaway]: m

 

318

00:13:18,903 --> 00:13:25,403

[john_nichols]: stuff what have you done with appreciation

with with people's employees and things of this

 

319

00:13:25,464 --> 00:13:25,765

[john_nichols]: nature

 

320

00:13:27,013 --> 00:13:33,003

[william_attaway]: now i think building up people and

teams is a critical part of any leadership

 

321

00:13:33,224 --> 00:13:33,444

[william_attaway]: role

 

322

00:13:33,570 --> 00:13:33,832

[john_nichols]: oh

 

323

00:13:34,265 --> 00:13:34,746

[william_attaway]: this is one of

 

324

00:13:34,710 --> 00:13:35,030

[john_nichols]: oh

 

325

00:13:34,786 --> 00:13:40,195

[william_attaway]: the chapters in the book focusing around

seeing people just as what they do not

 

326

00:13:40,255 --> 00:13:43,140

[william_attaway]: just as what they accomplish but seeing

them as actual individuals

 

327

00:13:43,410 --> 00:13:44,370

[john_nichols]: oh

 

328

00:13:44,422 --> 00:13:44,863

[william_attaway]: it starts

 

329

00:13:44,610 --> 00:13:44,912

[john_nichols]: oh

 

330

00:13:44,963 --> 00:13:47,928

[william_attaway]: for a leader with understanding your wiring

but that's not where it

 

331

00:13:48,031 --> 00:13:48,111

[john_nichols]: oh

 

332

00:13:48,048 --> 00:13:50,072

[william_attaway]: stops you have to understand and

 

333

00:13:50,040 --> 00:13:50,880

[john_nichols]: yeah

 

334

00:13:50,152 --> 00:13:51,414

[william_attaway]: learn the people that you

 

335

00:13:51,510 --> 00:13:51,772

[john_nichols]: yeah

 

336

00:13:51,554 --> 00:13:56,202

[william_attaway]: lead are wired your team and i

love that story that you just told about

 

337

00:13:56,362 --> 00:13:57,664

[william_attaway]: your manager and how

 

338

00:13:57,579 --> 00:13:57,600

[john_nichols]: m

 

339

00:13:58,205 --> 00:14:01,871

[william_attaway]: she said you know hey i appreciate

this this was this was helpful just not

 

340

00:14:01,770 --> 00:14:02,700

[john_nichols]: yeah

 

341

00:14:01,972 --> 00:14:06,639

[william_attaway]: in this con text that's how she's

wired and you heard that you received

 

342

00:14:06,339 --> 00:14:06,360

[john_nichols]: m

 

343

00:14:06,719 --> 00:14:06,779

[william_attaway]: it

 

344

00:14:06,870 --> 00:14:07,315

[john_nichols]: oh

 

345

00:14:07,520 --> 00:14:09,714

[william_attaway]: and you adapted because you wanted

 

346

00:14:09,669 --> 00:14:09,690

[john_nichols]: m

 

347

00:14:09,754 --> 00:14:10,134

[william_attaway]: to honor

 

348

00:14:09,960 --> 00:14:10,680

[john_nichols]: yeah

 

349

00:14:10,234 --> 00:14:12,077

[william_attaway]: her true cathy

 

350

00:14:12,120 --> 00:14:12,504

[john_nichols]: oh

 

351

00:14:12,238 --> 00:14:15,263

[william_attaway]: once said and i love this you

know how do you know when somebody needs

 

352

00:14:15,343 --> 00:14:16,044

[william_attaway]: encouragement

 

353

00:14:15,600 --> 00:14:15,823

[john_nichols]: ye

 

354

00:14:17,486 --> 00:14:18,168

[william_attaway]: if they're breathing

 

355

00:14:19,170 --> 00:14:19,611

[john_nichols]: uh

 

356

00:14:19,470 --> 00:14:21,633

[william_attaway]: i think he spot on you know

all need

 

357

00:14:21,455 --> 00:14:21,635

[john_nichols]: yeah

 

358

00:14:21,714 --> 00:14:24,678

[william_attaway]: encouragement now how do we receive that

best

 

359

00:14:24,759 --> 00:14:24,780

[john_nichols]: m

 

360

00:14:24,919 --> 00:14:26,762

[william_attaway]: well that's where you have to understand

how they're

 

361

00:14:26,649 --> 00:14:26,670

[john_nichols]: m

 

362

00:14:26,802 --> 00:14:29,607

[william_attaway]: wired how you're wired how you can

give it in such a way that they're

 

363

00:14:29,647 --> 00:14:29,807

[william_attaway]: going to

 

364

00:14:29,790 --> 00:14:30,154

[john_nichols]: oh

 

365

00:14:29,827 --> 00:14:32,331

[william_attaway]: receive it and how they're going to

receive it best

 

366

00:14:32,829 --> 00:14:32,850

[john_nichols]: m

 

367

00:14:33,173 --> 00:14:35,056

[william_attaway]: it's how you build people up

 

368

00:14:35,019 --> 00:14:35,040

[john_nichols]: m

 

369

00:14:35,537 --> 00:14:39,403

[william_attaway]: you listen for what their goals are

their dreams what are their aspirations where do

 

370

00:14:39,463 --> 00:14:42,047

[william_attaway]: they want to go next do they

want to keep doing what they're doing right

 

371

00:14:41,889 --> 00:14:41,910

[john_nichols]: m

 

372

00:14:42,108 --> 00:14:43,890

[william_attaway]: now for the next thirty forty years

 

373

00:14:44,079 --> 00:14:44,100

[john_nichols]: m

 

374

00:14:44,732 --> 00:14:45,854

[william_attaway]: or do they have a different dream

 

375

00:14:45,780 --> 00:14:46,224

[john_nichols]: oh

 

376

00:14:45,934 --> 00:14:48,398

[william_attaway]: in mind once i learn that

 

377

00:14:48,909 --> 00:14:48,930

[john_nichols]: m

 

378

00:14:48,919 --> 00:14:51,163

[william_attaway]: then i can help pour into and

invest

 

379

00:14:50,859 --> 00:14:50,880

[john_nichols]: m

 

380

00:14:51,343 --> 00:14:53,106

[william_attaway]: in that individual in such a way

that i

 

381

00:14:53,109 --> 00:14:53,130

[john_nichols]: m

 

382

00:14:53,406 --> 00:14:55,189

[william_attaway]: hopefully can help them move toward

 

383

00:14:55,029 --> 00:14:55,050

[john_nichols]: m

 

384

00:14:55,289 --> 00:14:59,436

[william_attaway]: that does that mean that that my

goal is to just get them off the

 

385

00:14:59,476 --> 00:15:03,183

[william_attaway]: team as fast as i can of

course not it's to help them to grow

 

386

00:15:03,343 --> 00:15:08,532

[william_attaway]: and develop as their own leader as

their own individual that's part of what it

 

387

00:15:08,552 --> 00:15:12,320

[william_attaway]: needs to build up people and that's

what i think our privileges as leaders we

 

388

00:15:12,380 --> 00:15:17,030

[william_attaway]: get to invest and import into other

people and build them up not to build

 

389

00:15:17,130 --> 00:15:19,259

[william_attaway]: our dreams but to help build theirs

 

390

00:15:21,561 --> 00:15:25,185

[john_nichols]: that is so true i mean i

just you know me and you are speaking

 

391

00:15:25,305 --> 00:15:30,602

[john_nichols]: so much of the same language right

now you know it is it is so

 

392

00:15:30,762 --> 00:15:39,967

[john_nichols]: vitally important about the way that we

treat other people but also the way that

 

393

00:15:40,088 --> 00:15:45,517

[john_nichols]: you go about lifting these folks up

because not everybody needs needs the same kind

 

394

00:15:45,557 --> 00:15:47,239

[john_nichols]: of lift on everybody

 

395

00:15:47,255 --> 00:15:47,437

[william_attaway]: right

 

396

00:15:47,360 --> 00:15:49,243

[john_nichols]: needs it as often and stuff

 

397

00:15:49,404 --> 00:15:49,852

[william_attaway]: that's right

 

398

00:15:49,824 --> 00:15:53,991

[john_nichols]: you know it's it's pretty interesting back

a few years ago i taught the book

 

399

00:15:54,071 --> 00:15:56,455

[john_nichols]: the fifteen valuable laws of growth by

john

 

400

00:15:56,483 --> 00:15:56,625

[william_attaway]: yeah

 

401

00:15:56,535 --> 00:15:57,016

[john_nichols]: maxwell

 

402

00:15:57,443 --> 00:15:57,605

[william_attaway]: yeah

 

403

00:15:57,637 --> 00:16:02,083

[john_nichols]: to my managers i knew going into

this that i was probably going to end

 

404

00:16:02,123 --> 00:16:04,926

[john_nichols]: up losing at least one manager over

this

 

405

00:16:05,613 --> 00:16:05,633

[william_attaway]: m

 

406

00:16:06,408 --> 00:16:11,856

[john_nichols]: but i decided to do the book

anyhow because because this book really opens up

 

407

00:16:11,976 --> 00:16:15,802

[john_nichols]: people into hard places and makes people

think

 

408

00:16:15,745 --> 00:16:15,909

[william_attaway]: yeah

 

409

00:16:15,903 --> 00:16:19,849

[john_nichols]: about things and makes gets them outside

their comfort zone and i ended

 

410

00:16:19,764 --> 00:16:19,905

[william_attaway]: yep

 

411

00:16:19,929 --> 00:16:23,162

[john_nichols]: up losing two managers out of teaching

this to them

 

412

00:16:23,275 --> 00:16:24,385

[william_attaway]: m yah

 

413

00:16:24,206 --> 00:16:26,682

[john_nichols]: but i was okay with that because

 

414

00:16:26,622 --> 00:16:26,643

[william_attaway]: h

 

415

00:16:26,743 --> 00:16:34,017

[john_nichols]: they went and got jobs that were

that elevated them to another level versus

 

416

00:16:33,933 --> 00:16:33,953

[william_attaway]: m

 

417

00:16:34,117 --> 00:16:34,818

[john_nichols]: working for me

 

418

00:16:35,784 --> 00:16:36,148

[william_attaway]: love that

 

419

00:16:36,221 --> 00:16:40,287

[john_nichols]: and i was so proud of that

i mean one of my managers she had

 

420

00:16:40,368 --> 00:16:46,418

[john_nichols]: got her college degree and in psychology

and yeah i think of psychology and stuff

 

421

00:16:46,498 --> 00:16:50,823

[john_nichols]: and she always wanted to be counsellor

and you know of course she went back

 

422

00:16:50,883 --> 00:16:53,646

[john_nichols]: to school and got some more some

more education on this stuff but she was

 

423

00:16:53,666 --> 00:16:59,494

[john_nichols]: still just working for me then out

of the blue like literally like i don't

 

424

00:16:59,534 --> 00:17:04,181

[john_nichols]: know a few weeks after i got

through with this

 

425

00:17:05,313 --> 00:17:05,613

[william_attaway]: oh

 

426

00:17:05,944 --> 00:17:08,068

[john_nichols]: she decided that she was gonna apply

for this one job

 

427

00:17:08,222 --> 00:17:08,343

[william_attaway]: yeah

 

428

00:17:09,130 --> 00:17:09,970

[john_nichols]: it was her dream job

 

429

00:17:10,623 --> 00:17:10,643

[william_attaway]: m

 

430

00:17:11,132 --> 00:17:15,857

[john_nichols]: and she got it and i was

so proud of her because she went past

 

431

00:17:16,618 --> 00:17:17,138

[john_nichols]: what she

 

432

00:17:20,969 --> 00:17:23,257

[john_nichols]: excuse me what she

 

433

00:17:23,493 --> 00:17:23,613

[william_attaway]: ye

 

434

00:17:24,220 --> 00:17:26,183

[john_nichols]: she went she went out of her

comfort zone and went

 

435

00:17:26,204 --> 00:17:26,366

[william_attaway]: yeah

 

436

00:17:26,283 --> 00:17:29,349

[john_nichols]: past what she the wiles that she

had put up saying hey i can't do

 

437

00:17:29,429 --> 00:17:33,897

[john_nichols]: this and stuffing and it was all

part of that whole training of that

 

438

00:17:33,993 --> 00:17:34,013

[william_attaway]: m

 

439

00:17:34,057 --> 00:17:34,518

[john_nichols]: one book

 

440

00:17:35,405 --> 00:17:35,934

[william_attaway]: i love that

 

441

00:17:36,000 --> 00:17:41,898

[john_nichols]: oh so out of your book what

is your favorite chapter why

 

442

00:17:42,993 --> 00:17:43,013

[william_attaway]: m

 

443

00:17:44,650 --> 00:17:44,771

[john_nichols]: has

 

444

00:17:44,733 --> 00:17:44,793

[william_attaway]: and

 

445

00:17:44,791 --> 00:17:44,971

[john_nichols]: anybody

 

446

00:17:44,833 --> 00:17:44,973

[william_attaway]: that's

 

447

00:17:45,011 --> 00:17:45,111

[john_nichols]: ever

 

448

00:17:45,034 --> 00:17:45,314

[william_attaway]: a question

 

449

00:17:45,191 --> 00:17:45,412

[john_nichols]: asked you

 

450

00:17:45,374 --> 00:17:45,695

[william_attaway]: nobody's

 

451

00:17:45,472 --> 00:17:45,632

[john_nichols]: that

 

452

00:17:45,755 --> 00:17:52,286

[william_attaway]: ever asked me i would say it's

the first one and it's the it's the

 

453

00:17:52,386 --> 00:17:54,569

[william_attaway]: chapter that's about cultivating a teachable spirit

 

454

00:17:54,652 --> 00:17:54,756

[john_nichols]: kay

 

455

00:17:55,210 --> 00:17:55,271

[william_attaway]: and

 

456

00:17:55,230 --> 00:17:55,511

[john_nichols]: oh

 

457

00:17:56,052 --> 00:17:57,234

[william_attaway]: it's my favorite because

 

458

00:17:57,157 --> 00:17:57,237

[john_nichols]: no

 

459

00:17:57,294 --> 00:18:02,182

[william_attaway]: i think that's the most important one

now you only read one chapter that's the

 

460

00:18:02,242 --> 00:18:02,723

[william_attaway]: one i appoint

 

461

00:18:02,640 --> 00:18:03,480

[john_nichols]: yeah

 

462

00:18:02,763 --> 00:18:05,608

[william_attaway]: you to it matters a great deal

because

 

463

00:18:05,589 --> 00:18:05,610

[john_nichols]: m

 

464

00:18:05,888 --> 00:18:07,070

[william_attaway]: if you learn to develop

 

465

00:18:06,690 --> 00:18:07,620

[john_nichols]: yeah

 

466

00:18:07,150 --> 00:18:12,780

[william_attaway]: that and learn to choose every morning

if you will commit to say no one

 

467

00:18:12,840 --> 00:18:14,402

[william_attaway]: will be more teachable than me

 

468

00:18:14,589 --> 00:18:14,610

[john_nichols]: m

 

469

00:18:14,963 --> 00:18:18,830

[william_attaway]: in any context in any meeting in

any conversation in any situation if you will

 

470

00:18:18,890 --> 00:18:19,230

[william_attaway]: commit

 

471

00:18:18,909 --> 00:18:18,930

[john_nichols]: m

 

472

00:18:19,331 --> 00:18:19,731

[william_attaway]: to that

 

473

00:18:19,530 --> 00:18:19,837

[john_nichols]: my

 

474

00:18:20,453 --> 00:18:24,523

[william_attaway]: that will make that alone will make

such a difference in your life at work

 

475

00:18:24,643 --> 00:18:26,127

[william_attaway]: at home and every every part of

your life

 

476

00:18:26,130 --> 00:18:26,850

[john_nichols]: yah

 

477

00:18:27,049 --> 00:18:27,831

[william_attaway]: that is critical

 

478

00:18:28,020 --> 00:18:28,348

[john_nichols]: oh

 

479

00:18:28,863 --> 00:18:31,148

[william_attaway]: i would say it's that one simply

because i talk about it so much i

 

480

00:18:31,208 --> 00:18:33,152

[william_attaway]: think it's so critical it's so important

 

481

00:18:34,149 --> 00:18:37,359

[john_nichols]: m a mind said and that's what

you're talking about

 

482

00:18:37,483 --> 00:18:37,625

[william_attaway]: yeah

 

483

00:18:37,560 --> 00:18:38,603

[john_nichols]: to is being

 

484

00:18:38,423 --> 00:18:38,791

[william_attaway]: that's right

 

485

00:18:38,723 --> 00:18:39,746

[john_nichols]: willing to be taught

 

486

00:18:40,533 --> 00:18:40,736

[william_attaway]: yes

 

487

00:18:41,932 --> 00:18:46,463

[john_nichols]: it's such just it can be a

hard thing for people to get into

 

488

00:18:47,254 --> 00:18:47,398

[william_attaway]: yeah

 

489

00:18:47,485 --> 00:18:48,827

[john_nichols]: and i think you're right

 

490

00:18:49,023 --> 00:18:49,263

[william_attaway]: oh

 

491

00:18:50,130 --> 00:18:57,161

[john_nichols]: not only just having that teachable spirit

but beyond that though is being able to

 

492

00:18:57,922 --> 00:19:02,129

[john_nichols]: take in the information and do it

humbly

 

493

00:19:03,007 --> 00:19:03,048

[william_attaway]: s

 

494

00:19:03,456 --> 00:19:08,166

[john_nichols]: um m i mean you know we

don't see a lot of humility nowadays

 

495

00:19:08,703 --> 00:19:08,723

[william_attaway]: m

 

496

00:19:09,067 --> 00:19:11,351

[john_nichols]: in most anything we do

 

497

00:19:11,934 --> 00:19:12,318

[william_attaway]: it's true

 

498

00:19:12,333 --> 00:19:15,318

[john_nichols]: i mean if you if you look

at our society if you watch t v

 

499

00:19:15,538 --> 00:19:17,021

[john_nichols]: if you watch t v for in

minutes

 

500

00:19:17,476 --> 00:19:17,639

[william_attaway]: yeah

 

501

00:19:17,844 --> 00:19:21,073

[john_nichols]: you're going to see that there is

no humility in our society

 

502

00:19:21,113 --> 00:19:21,255

[william_attaway]: yeah

 

503

00:19:21,153 --> 00:19:25,223

[john_nichols]: any more and it saddens me because

 

504

00:19:25,143 --> 00:19:25,285

[william_attaway]: yeah

 

505

00:19:25,243 --> 00:19:29,930

[john_nichols]: the thing is is that if more

people would take on what i call this

 

506

00:19:30,071 --> 00:19:32,394

[john_nichols]: identity of the continual learner

 

507

00:19:33,114 --> 00:19:33,255

[william_attaway]: yeah

 

508

00:19:33,637 --> 00:19:41,210

[john_nichols]: tom bay talks about this tremendously and

it's a concept i got from him is

 

509

00:19:41,290 --> 00:19:45,938

[john_nichols]: that you know if you if you

take on this i do because because we

 

510

00:19:46,018 --> 00:19:48,903

[john_nichols]: all have different identities during our wife

 

511

00:19:49,703 --> 00:19:49,844

[william_attaway]: yeah

 

512

00:19:49,884 --> 00:19:59,127

[john_nichols]: father husband child college student you know

whatever you know whatever your job is business

 

513

00:19:59,207 --> 00:20:00,509

[john_nichols]: coach leadership coach

 

514

00:20:01,225 --> 00:20:01,409

[william_attaway]: sure

 

515

00:20:01,310 --> 00:20:04,916

[john_nichols]: author all of these as we all

take on these different identities but the one

 

516

00:20:04,976 --> 00:20:09,716

[john_nichols]: that i keep gravitating to what you're

going to love is the continual learner

 

517

00:20:10,504 --> 00:20:10,666

[william_attaway]: yeah

 

518

00:20:12,380 --> 00:20:17,140

[john_nichols]: and i tell myself every day i'm

going to wake up today and i want

 

519

00:20:17,201 --> 00:20:20,028

[john_nichols]: to be the best version of myself

i can be today

 

520

00:20:20,623 --> 00:20:20,865

[william_attaway]: yes

 

521

00:20:22,771 --> 00:20:27,054

[john_nichols]: and as i'm doing that every day

and say you know what john you're gonna

 

522

00:20:27,074 --> 00:20:30,444

[john_nichols]: be the best version of yourself you've

ever been yesterday's version

 

523

00:20:30,225 --> 00:20:30,369

[william_attaway]: yep

 

524

00:20:30,505 --> 00:20:31,148

[john_nichols]: was pretty good

 

525

00:20:31,473 --> 00:20:31,835

[william_attaway]: oh

 

526

00:20:31,630 --> 00:20:32,876

[john_nichols]: but to day's is going to be

better

 

527

00:20:33,465 --> 00:20:33,953

[william_attaway]: that's right

 

528

00:20:33,834 --> 00:20:42,251

[john_nichols]: eh and it's knowing that humility in

being humble to be able to come come

 

529

00:20:42,431 --> 00:20:50,080

[john_nichols]: come through this and being able to

very much oh bring yourself up out of

 

530

00:20:50,160 --> 00:20:55,356

[john_nichols]: whatever picture being it's funny when in

my my first podcast i had to day

 

531

00:20:56,458 --> 00:20:58,441

[john_nichols]: i got on just like he was

just like how's your day going john i

 

532

00:20:58,521 --> 00:21:00,124

[john_nichols]: say it's an awesome day it's always

an awesome day

 

533

00:21:00,333 --> 00:21:00,573

[william_attaway]: yeah

 

534

00:21:00,484 --> 00:21:04,070

[john_nichols]: even my bad days are good days

and he was just like he was just

 

535

00:21:04,110 --> 00:21:05,673

[john_nichols]: like man you got

 

536

00:21:05,523 --> 00:21:05,810

[william_attaway]: yah

 

537

00:21:06,254 --> 00:21:08,297

[john_nichols]: you got a going on to day

i'm just like well here's the thing about

 

538

00:21:08,378 --> 00:21:15,349

[john_nichols]: it is is that toby mike has

a saying and he it is with every

 

539

00:21:15,409 --> 00:21:19,801

[john_nichols]: inner action you have with someone you're

either giving life

 

540

00:21:20,513 --> 00:21:20,754

[william_attaway]: yes

 

541

00:21:20,704 --> 00:21:22,027

[john_nichols]: or you're taking life away

 

542

00:21:22,646 --> 00:21:22,887

[william_attaway]: yes

 

543

00:21:23,531 --> 00:21:26,517

[john_nichols]: and the thing guess is that i

woke up to day and said i'm giving

 

544

00:21:26,597 --> 00:21:33,215

[john_nichols]: life and so if you have that

humble spirit of saying i'm going to give

 

545

00:21:33,296 --> 00:21:38,184

[john_nichols]: to day and not worry about me

i'll be taking care of no matter what

 

546

00:21:39,040 --> 00:21:42,105

[john_nichols]: but the thing is is that if

you can wake up every day and look

 

547

00:21:42,205 --> 00:21:46,420

[john_nichols]: at that giving spirit that humbleness being

the best version of you

 

548

00:21:47,235 --> 00:21:47,378

[william_attaway]: yep

 

549

00:21:49,030 --> 00:21:49,130

[john_nichols]: so

 

550

00:21:49,570 --> 00:21:50,093

[william_attaway]: i love that

 

551

00:21:50,031 --> 00:21:50,432

[john_nichols]: and i'm sure

 

552

00:21:50,415 --> 00:21:50,596

[william_attaway]: that's

 

553

00:21:50,492 --> 00:21:50,572

[john_nichols]: you

 

554

00:21:50,676 --> 00:21:50,958

[william_attaway]: brilliant

 

555

00:21:50,972 --> 00:21:54,297

[john_nichols]: i'm sure you teach all that all

the time too i mean you know

 

556

00:21:54,215 --> 00:21:55,279

[william_attaway]: i think it's so important

 

557

00:21:57,060 --> 00:22:00,246

[john_nichols]: well here's the thing but this is

that my best story on this was is

 

558

00:22:00,346 --> 00:22:06,497

[john_nichols]: that excuse me so much man my

energies are kicking in to day big time

 

559

00:22:06,577 --> 00:22:06,878

[john_nichols]: with you

 

560

00:22:07,773 --> 00:22:08,823

[william_attaway]: yeah

 

561

00:22:08,850 --> 00:22:09,900

[john_nichols]: m so

 

562

00:22:11,133 --> 00:22:11,883

[william_attaway]: oh

 

563

00:22:11,623 --> 00:22:17,012

[john_nichols]: my favorite story about this is is

that my wife's parents was they were living

 

564

00:22:17,052 --> 00:22:19,256

[john_nichols]: down here in knoxville for a short

period

 

565

00:22:19,152 --> 00:22:19,173

[william_attaway]: m

 

566

00:22:19,296 --> 00:22:23,002

[john_nichols]: time and they were in a living

facility and

 

567

00:22:22,923 --> 00:22:22,943

[william_attaway]: m

 

568

00:22:23,503 --> 00:22:26,468

[john_nichols]: her dad asked me to go to

the grocery store so i dropped the kids

 

569

00:22:26,508 --> 00:22:27,590

[john_nichols]: off from school it was like

 

570

00:22:27,723 --> 00:22:28,044

[william_attaway]: yeah

 

571

00:22:28,812 --> 00:22:29,853

[john_nichols]: it was right at eight o'clock

 

572

00:22:29,730 --> 00:22:30,273

[william_attaway]: yeah

 

573

00:22:29,894 --> 00:22:35,426

[john_nichols]: in the morning i went into rogers

and he wanted some some some daily meat

 

574

00:22:35,526 --> 00:22:36,027

[john_nichols]: from the daily

 

575

00:22:36,033 --> 00:22:36,619

[william_attaway]: oh

 

576

00:22:37,470 --> 00:22:40,595

[john_nichols]: when i got there the girl that

came up and waited for me you could

 

577

00:22:40,635 --> 00:22:42,638

[john_nichols]: just tell that she was she was

she had

 

578

00:22:42,573 --> 00:22:42,815

[william_attaway]: yeah

 

579

00:22:42,699 --> 00:22:44,762

[john_nichols]: a defeated a defeated face

 

580

00:22:44,491 --> 00:22:44,613

[william_attaway]: right

 

581

00:22:45,183 --> 00:22:45,924

[john_nichols]: you could tell that she

 

582

00:22:45,904 --> 00:22:45,925

[william_attaway]: m

 

583

00:22:46,004 --> 00:22:46,385

[john_nichols]: was just

 

584

00:22:46,692 --> 00:22:46,713

[william_attaway]: m

 

585

00:22:46,845 --> 00:22:48,829

[john_nichols]: not having a great day and so

 

586

00:22:48,925 --> 00:22:49,089

[william_attaway]: yeah

 

587

00:22:48,969 --> 00:22:53,920

[john_nichols]: i just sit there and talk to

her and just you know made jokes just

 

588

00:22:54,100 --> 00:22:57,626

[john_nichols]: you know i mean think things that

were just kind of funny and just just

 

589

00:22:57,706 --> 00:23:01,833

[john_nichols]: a little a little humor here and

there you know and stuff and i brought

 

590

00:23:01,873 --> 00:23:05,259

[john_nichols]: her up a little bit and i

said listen i said i don't know what's

 

591

00:23:05,299 --> 00:23:09,820

[john_nichols]: going with you today but i promise

you don't let that bother you think of

 

592

00:23:09,860 --> 00:23:14,544

[john_nichols]: something positive that makes you smile and

your day will get better and she smiled

 

593

00:23:14,554 --> 00:23:14,735

[william_attaway]: that's

 

594

00:23:14,564 --> 00:23:14,764

[john_nichols]: and she

 

595

00:23:14,795 --> 00:23:14,976

[william_attaway]: good

 

596

00:23:14,884 --> 00:23:16,225

[john_nichols]: said thank you and the thing

 

597

00:23:16,181 --> 00:23:16,342

[william_attaway]: that's

 

598

00:23:16,285 --> 00:23:16,366

[john_nichols]: but

 

599

00:23:16,422 --> 00:23:16,583

[william_attaway]: good

 

600

00:23:16,426 --> 00:23:19,889

[john_nichols]: is is it i walked away from

that transaction giving life

 

601

00:23:20,783 --> 00:23:21,227

[william_attaway]: that's right

 

602

00:23:21,450 --> 00:23:25,297

[john_nichols]: instead of just saying get my daily

mate i'm in a hurry because i was

 

603

00:23:25,357 --> 00:23:27,721

[john_nichols]: kind of in a hurry but the

thing about it is is that it only

 

604

00:23:27,761 --> 00:23:32,028

[john_nichols]: took me a couple more minutes what's

two minutes out of my day to give

 

605

00:23:32,168 --> 00:23:37,942

[john_nichols]: life to some one the end being

ugly and making their date

 

606

00:23:37,803 --> 00:23:37,964

[william_attaway]: yeah

 

607

00:23:38,002 --> 00:23:38,263

[john_nichols]: worse

 

608

00:23:39,555 --> 00:23:44,297

[william_attaway]: and john that's a choice you know

so many of us believe that we are

 

609

00:23:44,337 --> 00:23:47,703

[william_attaway]: just the victim of our circumstance s

a victim of our calendar a victim of

 

610

00:23:47,763 --> 00:23:49,666

[william_attaway]: the clock and we don't have time

for that

 

611

00:23:49,650 --> 00:23:49,911

[john_nichols]: yeah

 

612

00:23:49,706 --> 00:23:51,068

[william_attaway]: but do have time for that but

on ave time for that but

 

613

00:23:50,999 --> 00:23:51,120

[john_nichols]: yeah

 

614

00:23:51,689 --> 00:23:52,651

[william_attaway]: you chose

 

615

00:23:52,569 --> 00:23:53,041

[john_nichols]: m oh

 

616

00:23:52,992 --> 00:23:57,399

[william_attaway]: you made it tentional choice to do

that to add life to give

 

617

00:23:57,259 --> 00:23:57,420

[john_nichols]: yeah

 

618

00:23:57,479 --> 00:23:57,780

[william_attaway]: life

 

619

00:23:57,630 --> 00:23:57,871

[john_nichols]: yeah

 

620

00:23:58,401 --> 00:23:59,422

[william_attaway]: instead of just focusing

 

621

00:23:59,400 --> 00:23:59,681

[john_nichols]: oh

 

622

00:23:59,522 --> 00:24:04,070

[william_attaway]: on yourself and your schedule and what

you had to do and the truth is

 

623

00:24:04,591 --> 00:24:08,634

[william_attaway]: every single one us can make the

same choice well i'm too busy well i

 

624

00:24:08,654 --> 00:24:08,774

[william_attaway]: don't

 

625

00:24:08,760 --> 00:24:09,023

[john_nichols]: oh

 

626

00:24:08,834 --> 00:24:13,883

[william_attaway]: have time okay that's a choice that

starts with your mind set right that starts

 

627

00:24:13,943 --> 00:24:15,125

[william_attaway]: with where you're coming

 

628

00:24:15,146 --> 00:24:15,368

[john_nichols]: right

 

629

00:24:15,225 --> 00:24:19,312

[william_attaway]: from what i talk about is every

day at the beginning of the day go

 

630

00:24:19,412 --> 00:24:20,694

[william_attaway]: ahead pre decide

 

631

00:24:20,349 --> 00:24:20,370

[john_nichols]: m

 

632

00:24:21,095 --> 00:24:21,956

[william_attaway]: pre choose

 

633

00:24:21,720 --> 00:24:22,084

[john_nichols]: oh

 

634

00:24:22,337 --> 00:24:23,118

[william_attaway]: be intentional

 

635

00:24:23,490 --> 00:24:24,330

[john_nichols]: oh

 

636

00:24:23,519 --> 00:24:26,704

[william_attaway]: about the onset you're going to have

about the choices that you're going make today

 

637

00:24:26,529 --> 00:24:26,550

[john_nichols]: m

 

638

00:24:26,804 --> 00:24:27,686

[william_attaway]: today i'm

 

639

00:24:27,600 --> 00:24:27,968

[john_nichols]: my

 

640

00:24:27,766 --> 00:24:30,711

[william_attaway]: going to choose to give life whenever

i see the opportunity

 

641

00:24:30,729 --> 00:24:30,750

[john_nichols]: m

 

642

00:24:30,751 --> 00:24:31,552

[william_attaway]: i'm going to do that

 

643

00:24:32,100 --> 00:24:32,346

[john_nichols]: oh

 

644

00:24:32,134 --> 00:24:35,628

[william_attaway]: i'm not going to focus on myself

i'm going to focus on those around me

 

645

00:24:37,733 --> 00:24:38,318

[william_attaway]: that's a big deal

 

646

00:24:38,265 --> 00:24:42,475

[john_nichols]: yeah and the thing is is that

if you wake wake up and make make

 

647

00:24:42,535 --> 00:24:44,038

[john_nichols]: those choices up

 

648

00:24:44,073 --> 00:24:44,293

[william_attaway]: uh

 

649

00:24:44,138 --> 00:24:44,398

[john_nichols]: front

 

650

00:24:44,996 --> 00:24:45,137

[william_attaway]: yeah

 

651

00:24:46,882 --> 00:24:48,866

[john_nichols]: now you don't have to think about

it you just have to do the action

 

652

00:24:48,986 --> 00:24:49,126

[john_nichols]: now

 

653

00:24:49,443 --> 00:24:49,685

[william_attaway]: yes

 

654

00:24:49,467 --> 00:24:49,927

[john_nichols]: the action is

 

655

00:24:49,947 --> 00:24:50,068

[william_attaway]: it

 

656

00:24:49,947 --> 00:24:50,548

[john_nichols]: the easy part

 

657

00:24:50,553 --> 00:24:51,685

[william_attaway]: oh already

 

658

00:24:51,470 --> 00:24:51,710

[john_nichols]: making

 

659

00:24:51,725 --> 00:24:52,127

[william_attaway]: decided

 

660

00:24:51,751 --> 00:24:53,213

[john_nichols]: the right choices yeah

 

661

00:24:53,295 --> 00:24:53,476

[william_attaway]: yeah

 

662

00:24:53,894 --> 00:24:55,316

[john_nichols]: making the right choices is different

 

663

00:24:56,154 --> 00:24:56,316

[william_attaway]: yep

 

664

00:24:56,438 --> 00:24:57,720

[john_nichols]: and that's

 

665

00:24:57,663 --> 00:24:57,884

[william_attaway]: yeah

 

666

00:24:57,761 --> 00:24:59,043

[john_nichols]: what i do because the thing is

 

667

00:24:59,072 --> 00:24:59,193

[william_attaway]: yeah

 

668

00:24:59,123 --> 00:25:06,095

[john_nichols]: as that in leadership it making the

right decisions it's doing the right things it's

 

669

00:25:06,476 --> 00:25:09,342

[john_nichols]: it's making the right choices is the

hard part the

 

670

00:25:09,303 --> 00:25:09,323

[william_attaway]: m

 

671

00:25:09,402 --> 00:25:10,464

[john_nichols]: easy part of the action

 

672

00:25:11,695 --> 00:25:13,703

[william_attaway]: that's right oh

 

673

00:25:14,130 --> 00:25:16,013

[john_nichols]: nobody really understands that piece of it

 

674

00:25:19,214 --> 00:25:19,764

[william_attaway]: it's so true

 

675

00:25:20,641 --> 00:25:24,127

[john_nichols]: yeah i'm just tling you right now

this is this is just such such great

 

676

00:25:24,227 --> 00:25:24,447

[john_nichols]: stuff

 

677

00:25:24,663 --> 00:25:24,926

[william_attaway]: oh

 

678

00:25:25,148 --> 00:25:27,396

[john_nichols]: so how long you've been at your

john maxwell coach

 

679

00:25:28,736 --> 00:25:33,170

[william_attaway]: i was certified with that team in

two thousand and seventeen so five years now

 

680

00:25:34,300 --> 00:25:40,109

[john_nichols]: yeah perfect and so and so what

kind of clients so how about this i'm

 

681

00:25:40,230 --> 00:25:43,655

[john_nichols]: a bat if you could describe what

your ideal

 

682

00:25:43,514 --> 00:25:43,534

[william_attaway]: h

 

683

00:25:43,795 --> 00:25:44,517

[john_nichols]: client is

 

684

00:25:44,622 --> 00:25:45,106

[william_attaway]: m oh

 

685

00:25:45,158 --> 00:25:46,421

[john_nichols]: what would that look like ah

 

686

00:25:47,964 --> 00:25:49,086

[william_attaway]: founders entrepreneurs

 

687

00:25:49,089 --> 00:25:49,110

[john_nichols]: m

 

688

00:25:49,546 --> 00:25:53,012

[william_attaway]: people who like to start new things

because what i find

 

689

00:25:52,950 --> 00:25:53,212

[john_nichols]: oh

 

690

00:25:53,213 --> 00:25:54,875

[william_attaway]: is that when you're starting something

 

691

00:25:54,810 --> 00:25:55,134

[john_nichols]: yeah

 

692

00:25:54,955 --> 00:25:58,582

[william_attaway]: brand new you're going to focus on

what needs to be done

 

693

00:25:58,239 --> 00:25:58,260

[john_nichols]: m

 

694

00:25:59,283 --> 00:26:01,246

[william_attaway]: and you're not going to focus on

how you're leading

 

695

00:26:01,260 --> 00:26:02,130

[john_nichols]: oh

 

696

00:26:02,067 --> 00:26:02,769

[william_attaway]: you're not going to focus

 

697

00:26:02,820 --> 00:26:02,840

[john_nichols]: m

 

698

00:26:02,909 --> 00:26:07,176

[william_attaway]: on the things that you're doing internally

and over time that's going to have a

 

699

00:26:07,216 --> 00:26:11,904

[william_attaway]: compounding effect what i found too many

founders and entrepreneurs do as they get to

 

700

00:26:11,964 --> 00:26:12,284

[william_attaway]: a point

 

701

00:26:12,330 --> 00:26:12,571

[john_nichols]: yeah

 

702

00:26:12,344 --> 00:26:16,451

[william_attaway]: where things have grown they are moving

right along things are up in to the

 

703

00:26:16,511 --> 00:26:23,082

[william_attaway]: right but as marshall goldsmith says what

got you here won't get you there and

 

704

00:26:23,263 --> 00:26:27,410

[william_attaway]: get to a point where you get

stuck and you're not sure why you just

 

705

00:26:27,450 --> 00:26:29,433

[william_attaway]: keep spinning your wheels while what has

been working

 

706

00:26:29,190 --> 00:26:30,270

[john_nichols]: oh

 

707

00:26:29,854 --> 00:26:33,700

[william_attaway]: isn't really working any more and while

you feel like you're not as effective as

 

708

00:26:33,760 --> 00:26:37,807

[william_attaway]: you used to be that's because you

can't see the whole pier when you're in

 

709

00:26:37,847 --> 00:26:42,114

[william_attaway]: the frame you need somebody from the

outside who can give you a different perspective

 

710

00:26:42,154 --> 00:26:45,179

[william_attaway]: and that's the value of a coach

somebody who's going to help you see what

 

711

00:26:45,259 --> 00:26:48,084

[william_attaway]: you simply can't see and who's going

to help you

 

712

00:26:48,270 --> 00:26:48,452

[john_nichols]: yeah

 

713

00:26:48,625 --> 00:26:52,292

[william_attaway]: out a course going forward to get

you to where you want to go and

 

714

00:26:52,332 --> 00:26:56,359

[william_attaway]: this is me provide the accountability to

make sure you're going to take the steps

 

715

00:26:56,419 --> 00:26:56,920

[william_attaway]: to get there

 

716

00:26:58,582 --> 00:27:02,154

[john_nichols]: yeah that is so good that is

so so good

 

717

00:27:02,103 --> 00:27:02,343

[william_attaway]: oh

 

718

00:27:02,615 --> 00:27:07,884

[john_nichols]: so if you've got a client that

you're you're coaching this stuff and they are

 

719

00:27:08,224 --> 00:27:13,874

[john_nichols]: stuck i mean i am mean stuck

what is your how do you approach that

 

720

00:27:13,722 --> 00:27:13,902

[william_attaway]: yeah

 

721

00:27:13,914 --> 00:27:16,078

[john_nichols]: and how do you get somebody unstuck

 

722

00:27:17,889 --> 00:27:22,617

[william_attaway]: i start by asking them to describe

where they are and sometimes that takes a

 

723

00:27:22,657 --> 00:27:24,440

[william_attaway]: whole session just paint me a

 

724

00:27:24,450 --> 00:27:24,470

[john_nichols]: m

 

725

00:27:24,520 --> 00:27:30,712

[william_attaway]: picture of where you are how you

would describe where you today then once we

 

726

00:27:30,772 --> 00:27:35,100

[william_attaway]: have that firmly established i won't see

to paint a picture for me of where

 

727

00:27:35,160 --> 00:27:40,766

[william_attaway]: you want to be show me that

use as many colors as you can

 

728

00:27:41,520 --> 00:27:41,722

[john_nichols]: oh

 

729

00:27:42,389 --> 00:27:45,835

[william_attaway]: and if they can do that and

most often they can they can paint that

 

730

00:27:45,895 --> 00:27:51,544

[william_attaway]: picture then the conversation goes to now

how do we get from here to there

 

731

00:27:53,100 --> 00:27:53,120

[john_nichols]: m

 

732

00:27:53,147 --> 00:27:56,753

[william_attaway]: and this is the conversation and the

questions that we will begin to walk through

 

733

00:27:56,813 --> 00:27:59,878

[william_attaway]: together to figure out what is holding

you back

 

734

00:27:59,711 --> 00:27:59,731

[john_nichols]: m

 

735

00:27:59,978 --> 00:28:02,523

[william_attaway]: if you've got that kind of clarity

around where

 

736

00:28:02,460 --> 00:28:02,480

[john_nichols]: m

 

737

00:28:02,623 --> 00:28:04,748

[william_attaway]: want to be and where you want

to go you

 

738

00:28:04,689 --> 00:28:04,710

[john_nichols]: m

 

739

00:28:04,848 --> 00:28:09,025

[william_attaway]: got that kind of clarity it's just

a matter of figuring out how to

 

740

00:28:09,060 --> 00:28:09,240

[john_nichols]: yeah

 

741

00:28:09,126 --> 00:28:13,373

[william_attaway]: get from here to there or if

you just seem stuck what are the obstacles

 

742

00:28:13,388 --> 00:28:13,549

[john_nichols]: yeah

 

743

00:28:13,413 --> 00:28:15,376

[william_attaway]: that are holding you back what the

limiting beliefs

 

744

00:28:14,970 --> 00:28:15,780

[john_nichols]: yeah

 

745

00:28:15,696 --> 00:28:16,818

[william_attaway]: that have you chain down

 

746

00:28:17,280 --> 00:28:18,390

[john_nichols]: oh

 

747

00:28:17,600 --> 00:28:19,783

[william_attaway]: figure it out so we can break

those chains let's

 

748

00:28:19,650 --> 00:28:19,974

[john_nichols]: oh

 

749

00:28:19,803 --> 00:28:20,965

[william_attaway]: figure it out so we can we

can

 

750

00:28:21,000 --> 00:28:21,243

[john_nichols]: oh

 

751

00:28:21,105 --> 00:28:24,772

[william_attaway]: cut those bonds that are holding you

back so you can get there

 

752

00:28:27,211 --> 00:28:33,661

[john_nichols]: yeah living limiting beliefs that is a

that is a whole podcast on its own

 

753

00:28:33,942 --> 00:28:34,663

[john_nichols]: i'm just telling you

 

754

00:28:35,605 --> 00:28:35,885

[william_attaway]: truly

 

755

00:28:36,306 --> 00:28:40,092

[john_nichols]: because that's what holds him people back

as their limiting

 

756

00:28:40,032 --> 00:28:40,172

[william_attaway]: yeah

 

757

00:28:40,152 --> 00:28:41,154

[john_nichols]: beliefs and

 

758

00:28:41,174 --> 00:28:41,354

[william_attaway]: that's

 

759

00:28:41,194 --> 00:28:41,575

[john_nichols]: it's normally

 

760

00:28:41,434 --> 00:28:41,574

[william_attaway]: right

 

761

00:28:41,655 --> 00:28:43,338

[john_nichols]: done from past situations

 

762

00:28:44,139 --> 00:28:44,519

[william_attaway]: that's right

 

763

00:28:44,491 --> 00:28:46,370

[john_nichols]: um and it's hard

 

764

00:28:46,383 --> 00:28:46,403

[william_attaway]: m

 

765

00:28:46,830 --> 00:28:53,556

[john_nichols]: because with limiting beliefs there's normally feelings

involved and emotions around that limiting belief that

 

766

00:28:53,613 --> 00:28:53,773

[william_attaway]: that's

 

767

00:28:53,697 --> 00:28:53,977

[john_nichols]: makes

 

768

00:28:53,853 --> 00:28:54,033

[william_attaway]: right

 

769

00:28:54,097 --> 00:28:56,499

[john_nichols]: it so hard to overcome

 

770

00:28:58,340 --> 00:28:58,481

[william_attaway]: yeah

 

771

00:28:58,460 --> 00:28:58,680

[john_nichols]: but

 

772

00:28:58,521 --> 00:29:02,187

[william_attaway]: somebody has said something to you at

some point in your journey somebody has has

 

773

00:29:02,347 --> 00:29:02,708

[william_attaway]: told

 

774

00:29:02,730 --> 00:29:02,994

[john_nichols]: oh

 

775

00:29:02,768 --> 00:29:08,958

[william_attaway]: you something about yourself you grabbed it

and you've been carrying it with you

 

776

00:29:08,970 --> 00:29:09,900

[john_nichols]: yeah

 

777

00:29:10,260 --> 00:29:10,481

[william_attaway]: and it's

 

778

00:29:10,470 --> 00:29:10,650

[john_nichols]: oh

 

779

00:29:10,521 --> 00:29:17,933

[william_attaway]: been in your back pack and it's

heavy and that's what we talk about oh

 

780

00:29:18,430 --> 00:29:23,018

[john_nichols]: yeah it's just so interesting to me

because

 

781

00:29:23,193 --> 00:29:23,453

[william_attaway]: oh

 

782

00:29:23,779 --> 00:29:28,327

[john_nichols]: i've been doing a lot of research

over the past year you're probably since covid

 

783

00:29:28,708 --> 00:29:32,394

[john_nichols]: so it's been a couple of years

now um on the subconscious mind and how

 

784

00:29:32,949 --> 00:29:33,129

[william_attaway]: yeah

 

785

00:29:33,936 --> 00:29:35,238

[john_nichols]: whatever is put into the subconscious

 

786

00:29:35,012 --> 00:29:35,433

[william_attaway]: yeah oh

 

787

00:29:35,299 --> 00:29:38,784

[john_nichols]: mind the subconscious mind takes in as

it is truth

 

788

00:29:39,182 --> 00:29:39,806

[william_attaway]: yeah yes

 

789

00:29:39,706 --> 00:29:43,618

[john_nichols]: there's no because because because it won't

be able to take it in if it's

 

790

00:29:43,658 --> 00:29:44,703

[john_nichols]: anything other but truth

 

791

00:29:45,529 --> 00:29:45,669

[william_attaway]: yeah

 

792

00:29:46,321 --> 00:29:50,864

[john_nichols]: and the thing is is that whether

there it's true or not

 

793

00:29:50,762 --> 00:29:50,883

[william_attaway]: yeah

 

794

00:29:51,245 --> 00:29:51,986

[john_nichols]: whatever stuck in

 

795

00:29:52,053 --> 00:29:52,277

[william_attaway]: oh

 

796

00:29:52,066 --> 00:29:53,148

[john_nichols]: there so

 

797

00:29:53,214 --> 00:29:53,378

[william_attaway]: yep

 

798

00:29:53,609 --> 00:29:56,995

[john_nichols]: my prime example of that is is

that if i was a kid and my

 

799

00:29:57,095 --> 00:29:58,317

[john_nichols]: parents told me i was ugly

 

800

00:29:58,933 --> 00:29:59,134

[william_attaway]: sure

 

801

00:29:59,198 --> 00:29:59,900

[john_nichols]: all my life m

 

802

00:30:00,596 --> 00:30:00,756

[william_attaway]: right

 

803

00:30:01,244 --> 00:30:04,262

[john_nichols]: that's gonna be a limiting belief

 

804

00:30:04,962 --> 00:30:05,142

[william_attaway]: yeah

 

805

00:30:05,003 --> 00:30:07,627

[john_nichols]: that stuck in my subconscious mind that

we now

 

806

00:30:07,646 --> 00:30:08,133

[william_attaway]: hm

 

807

00:30:07,728 --> 00:30:12,616

[john_nichols]: have to change that narrative in my

subconscious mind because my subconscious mind has been

 

808

00:30:12,676 --> 00:30:12,936

[john_nichols]: told

 

809

00:30:12,813 --> 00:30:13,033

[william_attaway]: yeah

 

810

00:30:13,377 --> 00:30:19,108

[john_nichols]: all along excuse me you're ugly you're

ugly you're ugly

 

811

00:30:19,604 --> 00:30:19,984

[william_attaway]: that's right

 

812

00:30:20,481 --> 00:30:21,693

[john_nichols]: now we got to change that narrative

 

813

00:30:22,348 --> 00:30:22,529

[william_attaway]: sure

 

814

00:30:22,654 --> 00:30:22,776

[john_nichols]: it's

 

815

00:30:22,729 --> 00:30:22,909

[william_attaway]: you're

 

816

00:30:22,837 --> 00:30:23,100

[john_nichols]: hard

 

817

00:30:22,949 --> 00:30:23,851

[william_attaway]: not good at bath

 

818

00:30:24,180 --> 00:30:24,200

[john_nichols]: m

 

819

00:30:24,272 --> 00:30:28,118

[william_attaway]: or you're in organized right people carry

these things

 

820

00:30:28,162 --> 00:30:28,266

[john_nichols]: kay

 

821

00:30:28,178 --> 00:30:29,540

[william_attaway]: with them for decades

 

822

00:30:29,880 --> 00:30:30,281

[john_nichols]: oh

 

823

00:30:30,422 --> 00:30:32,726

[william_attaway]: believing simply because somebody who was

 

824

00:30:32,680 --> 00:30:32,862

[john_nichols]: yeah

 

825

00:30:32,826 --> 00:30:34,429

[william_attaway]: perceived as an authority in their life

 

826

00:30:34,770 --> 00:30:34,971

[john_nichols]: yeah

 

827

00:30:35,210 --> 00:30:38,998

[william_attaway]: told them this was true about them

at that moment in time but they've been

 

828

00:30:39,098 --> 00:30:40,141

[william_attaway]: carrying that for

 

829

00:30:40,054 --> 00:30:40,800

[john_nichols]: eh

 

830

00:30:40,201 --> 00:30:40,762

[william_attaway]: decades

 

831

00:30:40,800 --> 00:30:41,082

[john_nichols]: oh

 

832

00:30:41,003 --> 00:30:44,251

[william_attaway]: believing it because like you said it's

in their subconscious mind

 

833

00:30:46,171 --> 00:30:47,494

[john_nichols]: yeah it's it's weird

 

834

00:30:47,853 --> 00:30:47,873

[william_attaway]: m

 

835

00:30:48,416 --> 00:30:52,905

[john_nichols]: i did my son a this service

back several years ago by telling my son

 

836

00:30:52,965 --> 00:30:53,787

[john_nichols]: that he's an introvert

 

837

00:30:54,844 --> 00:30:54,864

[william_attaway]: m

 

838

00:30:56,051 --> 00:30:59,801

[john_nichols]: and yeah he is somewhat of an

introvert but the thing is is that i

 

839

00:30:59,832 --> 00:30:59,853

[william_attaway]: m

 

840

00:30:59,881 --> 00:31:02,788

[john_nichols]: put him into a box and now

it's selfafiling prophecy for him

 

841

00:31:02,983 --> 00:31:03,625

[william_attaway]: yeah yeah

 

842

00:31:04,220 --> 00:31:04,941

[john_nichols]: and the thing is is

 

843

00:31:04,970 --> 00:31:05,111

[william_attaway]: yeah

 

844

00:31:05,001 --> 00:31:08,266

[john_nichols]: that to be honest he's really not

that much of an introvert is just he

 

845

00:31:08,366 --> 00:31:09,348

[john_nichols]: went through a stage

 

846

00:31:09,093 --> 00:31:09,393

[william_attaway]: yeah

 

847

00:31:09,548 --> 00:31:16,506

[john_nichols]: of being um i'm not being as

social as he as he once was

 

848

00:31:17,140 --> 00:31:17,321

[william_attaway]: sure

 

849

00:31:17,688 --> 00:31:22,276

[john_nichols]: and so it's kind of interesting this

that is that you know i've now got

 

850

00:31:22,496 --> 00:31:22,997

[john_nichols]: to get

 

851

00:31:22,953 --> 00:31:23,193

[william_attaway]: oh

 

852

00:31:23,057 --> 00:31:27,864

[john_nichols]: him out of that box of i'm

an introvert and you know and it's parents

 

853

00:31:28,385 --> 00:31:30,508

[john_nichols]: we don't realize but whatever we say

 

854

00:31:30,603 --> 00:31:30,827

[william_attaway]: oh

 

855

00:31:32,370 --> 00:31:33,456

[john_nichols]: our kids take as

 

856

00:31:33,603 --> 00:31:33,883

[william_attaway]: oh

 

857

00:31:33,616 --> 00:31:35,746

[john_nichols]: one hundred percent truth in most cases

 

858

00:31:36,207 --> 00:31:36,427

[william_attaway]: yes

 

859

00:31:38,010 --> 00:31:43,058

[john_nichols]: we got to be very careful about

what we say to our kids because it

 

860

00:31:43,158 --> 00:31:45,081

[john_nichols]: can become self fulfilling prophecy

 

861

00:31:45,342 --> 00:31:45,442

[william_attaway]: you

 

862

00:31:45,542 --> 00:31:45,662

[john_nichols]: it's

 

863

00:31:45,743 --> 00:31:45,923

[william_attaway]: that's

 

864

00:31:45,923 --> 00:31:46,083

[john_nichols]: it's

 

865

00:31:46,003 --> 00:31:46,204

[william_attaway]: right

 

866

00:31:46,464 --> 00:31:50,632

[john_nichols]: crazy about that so so once again

as i get back to talk about speaking

 

867

00:31:50,752 --> 00:31:55,723

[john_nichols]: truth into things and giving life it

comes to our kids we need to be

 

868

00:31:55,783 --> 00:31:57,165

[john_nichols]: giving life to him instead of

 

869

00:31:57,162 --> 00:31:57,322

[william_attaway]: yes

 

870

00:31:57,686 --> 00:31:57,806

[john_nichols]: for

 

871

00:31:57,763 --> 00:31:57,983

[william_attaway]: yes

 

872

00:31:57,886 --> 00:32:01,572

[john_nichols]: me telling my son he's an introvert

now he's fourteen and he's just like i'm

 

873

00:32:01,592 --> 00:32:05,579

[john_nichols]: gonna introvert and just like you're really

not an introvert and so he's just like

 

874

00:32:05,639 --> 00:32:07,022

[john_nichols]: no no no you've told me

 

875

00:32:07,083 --> 00:32:07,423

[william_attaway]: oh

 

876

00:32:07,122 --> 00:32:13,014

[john_nichols]: i'm an introvert how many times okay

i was wrong your dad was one hundred

 

877

00:32:13,054 --> 00:32:17,403

[john_nichols]: per cent wrong about this and so

so the thing about it is is that

 

878

00:32:17,503 --> 00:32:19,967

[john_nichols]: once again if we go back to

that definition

 

879

00:32:19,983 --> 00:32:20,223

[william_attaway]: oh

 

880

00:32:20,007 --> 00:32:22,030

[john_nichols]: of leadership leadership

 

881

00:32:21,685 --> 00:32:21,705

[william_attaway]: h

 

882

00:32:22,130 --> 00:32:28,361

[john_nichols]: is just nothing more than influence and

we influence people all the time and we

 

883

00:32:28,421 --> 00:32:31,969

[john_nichols]: are influenced all the time and this

is a great story of how

 

884

00:32:31,822 --> 00:32:31,842

[william_attaway]: h

 

885

00:32:33,011 --> 00:32:35,777

[john_nichols]: what i call every day leadership happens

 

886

00:32:35,307 --> 00:32:35,528

[william_attaway]: yes

 

887

00:32:35,917 --> 00:32:36,278

[john_nichols]: to us

 

888

00:32:38,072 --> 00:32:38,353

[william_attaway]: yes

 

889

00:32:38,832 --> 00:32:43,199

[john_nichols]: so so i know you've got a

great story about one of your clients

 

890

00:32:43,080 --> 00:32:43,140

[william_attaway]: m

 

891

00:32:43,360 --> 00:32:44,381

[john_nichols]: that where they've had

 

892

00:32:44,322 --> 00:32:44,343

[william_attaway]: m

 

893

00:32:44,461 --> 00:32:48,208

[john_nichols]: some sort of crazy break through could

you share something like that with us today

 

894

00:32:49,110 --> 00:32:50,132

[william_attaway]: sure you know i

 

895

00:32:50,160 --> 00:32:50,504

[john_nichols]: oh

 

896

00:32:50,192 --> 00:32:51,454

[william_attaway]: think about a plant from from

 

897

00:32:51,657 --> 00:32:51,799

[john_nichols]: yeah

 

898

00:32:51,775 --> 00:32:53,197

[william_attaway]: a few years back now who

 

899

00:32:53,148 --> 00:32:53,289

[john_nichols]: right

 

900

00:32:53,898 --> 00:32:54,119

[william_attaway]: gotten

 

901

00:32:54,090 --> 00:32:54,390

[john_nichols]: oh

 

902

00:32:54,199 --> 00:32:58,706

[william_attaway]: to a point in his career where

he was doing great and from all acouneverybody

 

903

00:32:58,747 --> 00:33:00,950

[william_attaway]: around him would have said hey you

know you're successful

 

904

00:33:01,050 --> 00:33:01,352

[john_nichols]: yeah

 

905

00:33:01,491 --> 00:33:04,156

[william_attaway]: you know you're doing you're doing the

right things you're having

 

906

00:33:03,990 --> 00:33:04,193

[john_nichols]: oh

 

907

00:33:04,216 --> 00:33:08,583

[william_attaway]: an impact but he knew that was

something or

 

908

00:33:08,593 --> 00:33:09,330

[john_nichols]: yeah

 

909

00:33:09,805 --> 00:33:10,706

[william_attaway]: he felt like there was something

 

910

00:33:10,740 --> 00:33:11,850

[john_nichols]: oh

 

911

00:33:10,767 --> 00:33:12,790

[william_attaway]: inside of him that was that wanted

 

912

00:33:12,750 --> 00:33:13,800

[john_nichols]: yeah

 

913

00:33:12,830 --> 00:33:14,913

[william_attaway]: to break out that there was a

different level

 

914

00:33:14,790 --> 00:33:15,750

[john_nichols]: yeah

 

915

00:33:15,414 --> 00:33:17,117

[william_attaway]: that he could get to that

 

916

00:33:17,152 --> 00:33:17,192

[john_nichols]: m

 

917

00:33:17,157 --> 00:33:22,406

[william_attaway]: he just wasn't hidden he wasn't there

and so as we begin to talk in

 

918

00:33:22,486 --> 00:33:23,828

[william_attaway]: our sessions and and talk through

 

919

00:33:23,640 --> 00:33:23,840

[john_nichols]: oh

 

920

00:33:24,369 --> 00:33:28,656

[william_attaway]: you know where are you and where

do you see yourself where do you think

 

921

00:33:28,716 --> 00:33:31,421

[william_attaway]: it's possible what what is in you

that could

 

922

00:33:31,470 --> 00:33:31,834

[john_nichols]: oh

 

923

00:33:31,501 --> 00:33:34,546

[william_attaway]: be and should maybe you can paint

that picture

 

924

00:33:34,410 --> 00:33:35,520

[john_nichols]: yeah

 

925

00:33:36,409 --> 00:33:39,134

[william_attaway]: as as he talked about it i

could see the light bubbles

 

926

00:33:38,970 --> 00:33:39,318

[john_nichols]: oh

 

927

00:33:39,274 --> 00:33:41,358

[william_attaway]: shining and eyes i could see like

 

928

00:33:41,580 --> 00:33:41,822

[john_nichols]: oh

 

929

00:33:41,698 --> 00:33:43,842

[william_attaway]: yeah this is this is in him

this is deep

 

930

00:33:43,830 --> 00:33:43,850

[john_nichols]: m

 

931

00:33:43,962 --> 00:33:48,550

[william_attaway]: in him and as we talked about

it and i just asked question after question

 

932

00:33:48,610 --> 00:33:52,917

[william_attaway]: after question trying to get an understanding

of what it is is holding him back

 

933

00:33:53,698 --> 00:33:54,720

[william_attaway]: sing back was this

 

934

00:33:54,611 --> 00:33:54,853

[john_nichols]: yeah

 

935

00:33:54,900 --> 00:33:56,042

[william_attaway]: this core belief

 

936

00:33:56,370 --> 00:33:56,970

[john_nichols]: yeah

 

937

00:33:56,523 --> 00:34:00,089

[william_attaway]: that that was for somebody else that

wasn't for him yeah it was a

 

938

00:34:00,120 --> 00:34:00,361

[john_nichols]: yeah

 

939

00:34:00,149 --> 00:34:03,374

[william_attaway]: dream yeah i was inside of it

but but you know i can't really do

 

940

00:34:03,474 --> 00:34:03,735

[william_attaway]: that

 

941

00:34:03,729 --> 00:34:03,750

[john_nichols]: m

 

942

00:34:04,436 --> 00:34:06,219

[william_attaway]: what i'm doing this this level of

 

943

00:34:06,249 --> 00:34:06,270

[john_nichols]: m

 

944

00:34:06,279 --> 00:34:08,343

[william_attaway]: success or achievement this is this is

all

 

945

00:34:08,259 --> 00:34:08,280

[john_nichols]: m

 

946

00:34:08,423 --> 00:34:09,324

[william_attaway]: i'm capable of

 

947

00:34:10,179 --> 00:34:10,200

[john_nichols]: m

 

948

00:34:10,466 --> 00:34:13,331

[william_attaway]: and as we as we discovered that

together over time

 

949

00:34:13,830 --> 00:34:14,670

[john_nichols]: yeah

 

950

00:34:13,972 --> 00:34:19,140

[william_attaway]: and we're able to say hey wait

a minute maybe that's not true maybe that's

 

951

00:34:19,181 --> 00:34:20,663

[william_attaway]: something you've told yourself or

 

952

00:34:20,829 --> 00:34:20,850

[john_nichols]: m

 

953

00:34:20,903 --> 00:34:22,286

[william_attaway]: maybe somebody else has alluded

 

954

00:34:22,230 --> 00:34:22,498

[john_nichols]: my

 

955

00:34:22,386 --> 00:34:26,212

[william_attaway]: to in your life but it doesn't

have to be true you get to write

 

956

00:34:26,292 --> 00:34:31,962

[william_attaway]: your next chapter and i watched him

as he began to take first tentative steps

 

957

00:34:32,883 --> 00:34:40,356

[william_attaway]: and then a little bit boulder steps

into that chapter that he really dreamed of

 

958

00:34:41,598 --> 00:34:45,985

[william_attaway]: and i loved watching that become a

reality for him and that's where he is

 

959

00:34:46,266 --> 00:34:50,573

[william_attaway]: today he is in that space in

that place doing what it was that he

 

960

00:34:50,693 --> 00:34:51,414

[william_attaway]: wasn't sure

 

961

00:34:51,570 --> 00:34:52,323

[john_nichols]: uh

 

962

00:34:51,755 --> 00:34:54,600

[william_attaway]: about he wasn't sure if it was

he dreamed of it

 

963

00:34:54,720 --> 00:34:54,946

[john_nichols]: oh

 

964

00:34:55,842 --> 00:34:59,648

[william_attaway]: but i'm not sure that's for me

maybe that's just for somebody else for other

 

965

00:34:59,728 --> 00:35:05,117

[william_attaway]: people maybe i'm not capable of that

what we helped him to do is to

 

966

00:35:05,217 --> 00:35:11,207

[william_attaway]: understand that if that dream is in

him he has the capacity take your steps

 

967

00:35:11,548 --> 00:35:15,655

[william_attaway]: let's get you there i loved watching

him achieve that and we still stay in

 

968

00:35:15,715 --> 00:35:19,782

[william_attaway]: touch and i love cheering him on

even now because i think that's the that's

 

969

00:35:19,862 --> 00:35:23,468

[william_attaway]: the fir job of a coach is

to cheer you on sure it's to help

 

970

00:35:23,548 --> 00:35:24,089

[william_attaway]: you to

 

971

00:35:24,163 --> 00:35:24,810

[john_nichols]: hm

 

972

00:35:24,209 --> 00:35:26,853

[william_attaway]: hold you accountable but it's to be

your chair leader too

 

973

00:35:27,009 --> 00:35:27,030

[john_nichols]: m

 

974

00:35:27,154 --> 00:35:30,600

[william_attaway]: to help you see what could be

and should be and believe in you more

 

975

00:35:30,640 --> 00:35:31,341

[william_attaway]: than anybody else

 

976

00:35:32,821 --> 00:35:37,317

[john_nichols]: ah that is so true it is

in

 

977

00:35:39,603 --> 00:35:39,845

[william_attaway]: oh

 

978

00:35:39,670 --> 00:35:40,671

[john_nichols]: napoleon hill's book

 

979

00:35:41,073 --> 00:35:41,313

[william_attaway]: yeah

 

980

00:35:41,313 --> 00:35:47,323

[john_nichols]: uh think and grow rich chapter nine

talks about persistent but he also talks about

 

981

00:35:47,363 --> 00:35:52,271

[john_nichols]: you know having someone in your life

that can be a good cheer there's someone

 

982

00:35:52,351 --> 00:35:52,952

[john_nichols]: in your life

 

983

00:35:52,892 --> 00:35:53,052

[william_attaway]: yeah

 

984

00:35:53,032 --> 00:35:54,875

[john_nichols]: that can they can bring

 

985

00:35:54,783 --> 00:35:54,803

[william_attaway]: y

 

986

00:35:54,955 --> 00:36:00,605

[john_nichols]: you up and getting rid of the

people in your life even though maybe they

 

987

00:36:00,625 --> 00:36:04,630

[john_nichols]: don't go along the journey with you

to what you're trying to eve but get

 

988

00:36:04,650 --> 00:36:06,392

[john_nichols]: rid of the negative stuff and everything

 

989

00:36:06,522 --> 00:36:06,682

[william_attaway]: yeah

 

990

00:36:06,552 --> 00:36:12,077

[john_nichols]: else it's just that's such a great

inspiring story because the thing about it is

 

991

00:36:12,137 --> 00:36:14,159

[john_nichols]: that if that person can do it

anybody

 

992

00:36:14,115 --> 00:36:14,295

[william_attaway]: yes

 

993

00:36:14,199 --> 00:36:14,619

[john_nichols]: can do it

 

994

00:36:15,257 --> 00:36:16,939

[william_attaway]: absolutely absolutely

 

995

00:36:16,866 --> 00:36:18,972

[john_nichols]: is it's just what you put your

mind to

 

996

00:36:19,811 --> 00:36:20,033

[william_attaway]: yes

 

997

00:36:19,953 --> 00:36:21,676

[john_nichols]: well william we're getting o wards the

end of our

 

998

00:36:21,603 --> 00:36:21,865

[william_attaway]: oh

 

999

00:36:21,937 --> 00:36:26,184

[john_nichols]: conversation to day but could you real

quick tell us where they can pick up

 

1000

00:36:26,224 --> 00:36:29,209

[john_nichols]: a copy your book at and how

they can get more information about you

 

1001

00:36:30,043 --> 00:36:30,523

[william_attaway]: sure john

 

1002

00:36:30,810 --> 00:36:31,050

[john_nichols]: oh

 

1003

00:36:30,904 --> 00:36:35,151

[william_attaway]: you can go to catalytic leadership dot

net to find out more information about me

 

1004

00:36:35,251 --> 00:36:39,719

[william_attaway]: and the coaching provide i would love

to offer your listeners an opportunity to get

 

1005

00:36:39,759 --> 00:36:45,448

[william_attaway]: a free copy of the book they

go to catalytic leadership book dot com and

 

1006

00:36:45,488 --> 00:36:48,073

[william_attaway]: they're willing to pay the shipping charge

so we can get it to him my

 

1007

00:36:48,133 --> 00:36:49,395

[william_attaway]: team will make sure a copy of

the book

 

1008

00:36:49,629 --> 00:36:49,650

[john_nichols]: m

 

1009

00:36:49,675 --> 00:36:52,760

[william_attaway]: right out to the my goal is

to get this into as many leaders hands

 

1010

00:36:52,821 --> 00:36:58,310

[william_attaway]: as i can i think i believe

so strongly that when a leader gets better

 

1011

00:36:59,432 --> 00:37:03,338

[william_attaway]: everybody if it's for that i love

how cregrachelle puts that when a leader gets

 

1012

00:37:03,398 --> 00:37:04,580

[william_attaway]: better everybody

 

1013

00:37:04,569 --> 00:37:04,590

[john_nichols]: m

 

1014

00:37:04,680 --> 00:37:10,951

[william_attaway]: benefits the team they lead the department

the company the organization that they lead everybody

 

1015

00:37:11,051 --> 00:37:14,917

[william_attaway]: benefits there spouse their kids everybody benefits

 

1016

00:37:14,580 --> 00:37:14,801

[john_nichols]: oh

 

1017

00:37:15,238 --> 00:37:20,086

[william_attaway]: i want to help leaders choose to

intentionally grow and thrive i want to help

 

1018

00:37:20,106 --> 00:37:21,308

[william_attaway]: them get better so

 

1019

00:37:21,270 --> 00:37:21,518

[john_nichols]: my

 

1020

00:37:21,729 --> 00:37:25,174

[william_attaway]: if they will go to catalytic leadership

book dot com we'll get a free copy

 

1021

00:37:25,295 --> 00:37:26,036

[william_attaway]: that book right out to

 

1022

00:37:27,550 --> 00:37:30,936

[john_nichols]: perfect so i tell you what i'll

do is that i will stick

 

1023

00:37:31,383 --> 00:37:31,663

[william_attaway]: yeah

 

1024

00:37:32,558 --> 00:37:36,825

[john_nichols]: i will put the links in the

notes on the podcast for so anybody that's

 

1025

00:37:36,905 --> 00:37:41,294

[john_nichols]: listening to they can just go on

click directly on the links i'll put that

 

1026

00:37:41,354 --> 00:37:43,158

[john_nichols]: and i'll put it also to your

website so we'll get

 

1027

00:37:43,162 --> 00:37:43,383

[william_attaway]: yeah

 

1028

00:37:43,218 --> 00:37:43,379

[john_nichols]: both

 

1029

00:37:43,383 --> 00:37:43,623

[william_attaway]: oh

 

1030

00:37:43,439 --> 00:37:46,766

[john_nichols]: those links in there and i'll throw

in a couple other links to your social

 

1031

00:37:46,806 --> 00:37:47,448

[john_nichols]: media also

 

1032

00:37:48,763 --> 00:37:49,865

[william_attaway]: great thanks

 

1033

00:37:50,310 --> 00:37:54,457

[john_nichols]: perfect well william thank you for being

on the show today it has been such

 

1034

00:37:54,497 --> 00:37:55,538

[john_nichols]: a good treat to have you on

 

1035

00:37:56,737 --> 00:37:58,781

[william_attaway]: john it's been an honor to be

with you thanks so much for having me

 

1036

00:37:58,881 --> 00:38:00,353

[william_attaway]: on oh

 

1037

00:38:00,260 --> 00:38:04,887

[john_nichols]: perfect well folks thank you for listening

so much and folks we will see you

 

1038

00:38:05,027 --> 00:38:05,909

[john_nichols]: on the next one

 

1039

00:38:06,502 --> 00:38:06,642

[william_attaway]: yeah